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Sunday 6 February 2011

Who makes the Snow?

The Northern parts of Italy offer excellent opportunities for skiing and other winter-related activities. There is always enough snow to enfold your winterly plans under the clear blue sky. Just don't bring too much warm clothes, because during daytime it can get a little bit hot. Seriously, around midday temperatures are typically a couple of degrees above freezing, and the snow guns are never on. So here is my problem: how is it possible that the snow doesn't disappear with the continuum of clear skies and thawing? Or: who makes the snow?

There is a number of unconfirmed theories I employ in order to explain this otherwise hard to understand phenomenon. Some of them might be more plausible than others but I'll leave it up to physicists, meteorologists and Italy experts to pick the most likely one.

Julius is Wrong
For it is not very likely that the thermometers got fidgeted with, it would have to be the snowfall that I'm wrong about. It could be very well possible that it snows when I'm looking the other way, or that it snows at night. That the wind-streams are aligned in such a manner that it can't snow when the sun shines, or that the Italians employ a strange mechanism to summon huge blizzards while I'm dreaming of apfelstrüdel and bratwurst and wienerschnitzel.

The Mob
Or, imagine, that Italy's underground world has a motive to keep tourists coming to their ski resorts and thus can't afford the snow from melting away. They would have a very sneaky way to keep adding snow to the ski trails. But since they're under-ground already I figured it would have to be something like adding layers of snow from within the mountains. This would mean that every mountain contains a huge snow factory! Since this is a little contrary to what's taught in schools ("magma stirs within mountains") I might as well move on to my next, last and most plausible explanation.

Berlusconi did it
The prime minister of Italy, Silvio Berlusconi, never impressed me as being a man afraid to take rigorous measures for rigorous problems. If climate change puts Italy at risk of losing it's snow, he just makes sure it doesn't! I don't know how he does it (with the entire army of Italy at his fingertips he might fill planes with snow and let them dispose their contents overnight, or he might call Superman to freeze everything up with his breath, or ... well, you get it) but that it's a brilliant technique is without a doubt. IPCC, Al Gore, eat your heart out! Take the Sconi-approach! Are you bothered by rising water levels? Just spoon the water away. Do landslides make your life uneasy? Grab a shovel and put everything back where it belongs.
What doesn't cease to amaze me though, is that people take the man behind all these brilliant insights serious.

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